Lately I’m having trouble finding free time. My time has been spent caring for a newborn, entertaining a threenager, making life decisions with my husband, and doing endless loads of laundry and dishes. It’s just not a lot of free time in there.

My schedule has been dictated by others and I haven’t been able to have some alone time or time with friends as much as I would like. As a working mom, free time is basically non existent. However, those moments are so necessary because I’m not at my best when I’ve been tending to everyone else’s needs and neglecting my own.

Most weeks I’m writing to do lists to find out where my free time is. I feel guilty at times thinking about the desire to be away from my family. Do good moms run away from the house when they get a moment away?


And don’t let anyone tell you any differently. While I’m strolling down some aisle or sipping some tea at a quiet table my mind instantly renews. I feel alive again because I can actually think on one thought.

Since my time is limited I now have to decide whether the few free hours I have are going to be spent alone or if I am going to call up a friend who I haven’t seen in a while.

Again – another place where I’m feeling guilty!

Do I take this time to myself and prioritize what I need to refresh as an introvert…or do I reach out and socialize, strengthening my tribe and connecting with others who understand this life we live?

black mom, motherhood

As an introvert I need to have these quiet moments because the amount of noise that’s around me in a given week can push me to a high anxiety and stressful point. I get emotionally tired.

On the flip side I’ve made it a goal to maintain some close relationships and have that sounding board of women who can commiserate with me on all things momming.

Striving for balance in all areas includes prioritizing the ways you manage your self care. A working moms free time has got to be optimized.

So, you might be thinking to yourself where am I even going to find the time? As a working mom, finding free time is like finding a unicorn.

You might have more time than you think if you plan ahead – working moms can start finding free time. Maybe your long commute could serve as a time for reflection or a phone call with a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Perhaps you can run some errands during your lunch break so that your weekends are a little more free. Or, you could delegate some things to your partner, children, friends, etc so that you’re not carrying all of the weight and find some free time. Whatever you plan to do, make sure to take the time.

Take the time to be alone.

Take the time to get together with friends.

Take the time to care for your self.