WHY WHY WHY do moms get all the mom guilt?? Well, I can’t speak on dads but from what I know and hear from other moms I’m pretty sure it’s an epidemic that mainly affects us. Mommy guilt has no biases.
Whether you’re 20 or 45, a working or stay at home mama, the guilt strikes! I’m here to tell you, you are not alone! I know there are times when this guilt thing weighs you down, so I wanted to share what I believe to be some common guilt and how you can feel a little better about them!
THE BOOB OR THE BOTTLE?
This first one is for the new mommies. You’ve just had your baby and you are feeling a ton of different emotions. Suddenly, the nurse walks in and says it’s time to breastfeed. You’ve heard the stories, done the research, and you’re ready but baby just won’t latch! Wait… why isn’t he eating, am I starving him, is it supposed to hurt like this, why is this nurse looking at me like I’m crazy?!! This all happened to me and I felt terrible!!
Do the research; the numbers on breastfed babies versus formula fed babies are all over the place. I know everywhere you look breastfeeding is deemed “the best” but you have to do what’s best for you and your family! If you’re like me and tried just accept that you did your best and move on. Everything that works for others might not work for you and that’s OK!
My son was a formula baby and he turned out just fine. Besides, they all grow up and want Happy Meals anyway!
TELEVISION – CODE NAME: BABYSITTER
I remember taking my son to a doctor’s appointment and his doctor saying to me that children under 2 shouldn’t be watching television. Yea right! It was way before 2 that I started popping in DVDs to keep him quiet while I did school work or took a shower. For a moment I thought, wow he’s always watching TV or has his iPad… I’m not doing something right!
Let’s face it, we live in a digital age and kids these days know how to work phones and tablets better than we do. So, is screen time really that bad? Will it make him, I don’t know… less smart? NO! If anything I think it’s made him more curious about different things and how the world works.
With anything that has to do with our little ones, it’s all about limits. Moderation is a major key and as long as you’re monitoring what’s being viewed, I say what’s the big deal?!
LOSING YOUR SH**
Let’s be real, we yell at our kids… especially when we’ve told them a million times to put their shoes on so we can get out the door or sometimes when they’ve done nothing at all. No, not a great move, but it happens!
No one feels good about losing it with their kiddos so the guilt is real but the next move should be to look at what’s up with you… are you stressed or upset about something? If so, give yourself a break and then maybe use it as a learning opportunity. Apologize to your little one and let them know that even grown ups can throw fits but saying sorry can really go a long way.
But if yelling is normal then you might want to take a step back and think about ways to manage your anger or stress. Find ways you can relieve stress and practice some self-care. We all need a break.
ADULT TIME
I like to have my alone time… I used to feel bad about this but figured when you spend 5 or 6 days out of the seven with your little one, why feel guilty about living your life?
Who said that when you became a parent you just stopped doing all the things you did before you were one?
Time away from my little one makes me value the time we spend together and I’m pretty sure that helps with guilt as well. When he goes to his dad’s house I genuinely miss my kid! I talk about him way too much and I’m sure I get on his dad’s nerves asking for pictures but I definitely try to take advantage of the time alone.
I’m sure there are a lot more mom guilt I could name but these were the four that were biggest for me. I’m here to say stop feeling guilty… you’re human and we all have experienced doubt in our parenting. Research has shown that all moms feel guilty about something so there’s no “better” mom to compare yourself to… Do you boo!! Mom guilt is BS!
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