Episode 110: Keeping Your Marriage Strong During the Quarantine

These times are hard for everyone, so keeping your relationship intact and your marriage strong, even a healthy one, can be a challenge. During the quarantine we’re faced with the anxiety of what’s going on around us, the stress of keeping our families safe and healthy, and not catching a terrible virus while most are having to spend most of our time in our homes. 

While in quarantine, I’ve been chasing after two children, relying on coffee and then staying up late, and becoming overtired. This caused me to be mean and nasty towards my loved ones. I hit a wall and was not communicating my feelings and the level of help I needed during the day. Our normal, every day ways of parenting and being together may not work while we are in a pandemic. We have to communicate better while in quarantine and treat each other in ways that may be different than normal.

Most of us are not used to spending this amount of time around our families constantly – we have breaks in the work day, time spent on our commutes, while the children are at school, time we spend with friends, our own time we spend alone, and more to give us that recharging time.

Now that we don’t have that as we used to – it’s important to take a step back and make sure we’re not damaging our relationships and keeping our marriage strong by ignoring the attention they usually get in a normal day, week or month.

So, how do you keep your relationship healthy in quarantine?

Here are 5 things you can do right now to give your marriage some attention and keep all things intact – and perhaps even come out the other side of this stronger and better than before.

1. Communicate how you’re feeling with your spouse
   1. News flash – your spouse STILL can’t read your mind! We’re bound to go through so many emotions and feelings during this time, and we can’t fully ignore them because they can affect how we interact with each other. Take some time to figure out how you’re feeling and communicate that with your spouse so you are both on the same page. From there, you can make a plan to schedule some date nights, get some recharge time, talk through how you feel. 
2. Take time away from each other
   1. As mentioned above you typically have natural time away from your partner or husband. Now, not so much. You may need to get creative if you have a smaller space but the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is still true even in a quarantine. Realizing when you have reached your limit is a difficult but necessary step. Taking some time apart and in separate places, even if you just have to be outside taking a walk, is part of maintaining your healthy relationship.
3. Try to have some fun
   1.  Right now most moms are worried about their children and keeping them entertained, your relationship can use the entertainment as well! Try to do a few things together to communicate better with your spouse when the kids are doing their own thing or after you’ve put them to bed. There is so much negativity around us, but we have to still interject some fun with our spouses and do the things you like to do together. Bonding activities for couples can and should be exciting!
4. Acknowledge and respect differences
   1. Whenever we spend a lot of time with someone those little habits that annoy us get amplified. This is especially true with your husband – so try to appreciate them and not let the little annoying habits bother you. You and your husband have different personalities in ways that can compliment each other. Find ways to use your differences throughout the week to teach each other or better the family. Pushing each other to do things you previously didn’t have time for and encouraging each other can be on the benefits of being in a social distancing state.
5. Find the takeaways for when we’re in our new normal
   1. This situation can teach us a lot about ourselves and our relationships and help us with effective communication in marriage. There may be things that arise that you’ve realized you like doing together, you don’t like doing together, or that you want to make more time for when we’re back to a more regular routine. Make a plan to do some thinking on what you can bring into the next phase of this situation.

What are some couple bonding activities while at home?

This is where you may have to get creative. After being at home together for months, things tend to get boring and redundant. By making time for some new bonding activities for couples at home you can hopefully put some spark into your daily routines.

1. Cook through your favorite family recipes together
   1. When cooking together you may learn some new foods that your partner loves to eat that you didn’t know before. This also gives you a chance to work through an activity and reward your collaboration with a great meal afterwards!
2. Plan your next 5 years together
   1. Sitting down to day dream about your future is fun but can also be eye opening. Put all of your dreams out there for each other to hear and decide what you’d like to work on. This extra time when things are slow may be the perfect chance to flesh out any plans for your family.
3. Exercise together and try each others favorite way to work out
   1. My husband and I do not do the same types of exercise. He always thought my Pilates classes weren’t a real hard workout, until he tried it with me! Now, he doesn’t doubt my strength. We had a great time sharing each other’s workouts and still got a good sweat in.
4. Play old school games you haven’t brought out in a while
   1. You can break out old board games or even go to some old standbys like Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever, and Pictionary.
5. Make or recreate a Tik Tok video
   1. I’ve seen so many cute and funny Tik Tok skit videos that two people can do together. You don’t have to upload them to your channel, just record and save for the two of you to laugh at later on.
6. Start a podcast or go live on social media talking about a subject you both love
   1. There are times when your conversations together might be thought provoking, reflective, or could be helpful to others. If you have a few topics that you like talking about together, whether that’s sports, favorite HBO shows, raising your kids, whatever – think about pulling out your computer or phone and recording it for a podcast or IG live segment you can start.
7. Redecorate a room or renovate a space in your home
   1. If you’ve had some ideas about making changes around your house, now might be a great time to jump on Pinterest or Houzz and get some ideas. When couples plan activities around a shared goal you can really get to know each other on a different level. Renovating a space or home will definitely give you a chance to work through some challenges and tough decision making.

These relationship building activities to help couples bond while at home can be a great start to keeping your marriage strong until we are out of the pandemic.

Anything else to add to the list for keeping your marriage strong during the quarantine? Let us know below! What are you doing to grow your relationship during this time?

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