Co-parenting together with a spouse or the father of your child is one of the hardest parts of being a mother that we don’t talk about enough. Getting on the same page and finding the best tips for co-parenting can be exhausting.
Even with my own husband, getting on the same page now that we have children is new for us, and we had been married for years before we had kids.
The thing about working together with the other parent is that consistency is so important for children.
The way we co-parent can impact our children and family as a whole. Children thrive on consistency, boundaries, and routines.
Inconsistencies in parenting practices can send mixed signals which leads to them acting out and expressing their frustration through tantrums and fights.
When children do not feel safe or when they feel that their environment is
unpredictable they can become anxious, or even depressed.
Tips for co-parenting and how to get on the same page
It’s got to be the biggest factor in determining how to proceed when a problem arises. Listen so that you can hear the ques on when something is truly a problem and then go from there.
2. Create a shared vision- and adjust constantly.
As things come up at daycare or if we see them happening at other places we talk about how we would handle it. The show Black-ish is one of our favorites because we are always getting topics and long discussions based on what the characters are doing. It’s relatable and brings up discussions that we wouldn’t have otherwise had before it becomes a problem for us.
We also sat down and we defined our long-term goals for our family. We discussed the desired rules and boundaries and why we felt that they were important.
3. Decide on what to do when you disagree.
Not everything will be an easy discussion. Sometimes you just won’t agree on the same course of action. If it is a split decision you have a few choices, but you must decide on one so that you can move forward. Moving forward is the important part – remember, you gotta stay consistent.
a. You just decide not to do anything at all
b. Something has to be done so you agree to compromise
c. Let one person decide this time and flip next time
d. You handle it one way at your house and they handle it their way at their house (if you’re not together)
What if your co-parent is not interested in same page parenting?
Understand you can’t force anyone to do anything. You can only affect your
behavior – so model that, show love – things can change, and communicate
as best you can.
What are some of your best tips for co-parenting? Share in the comments.