You ever feel invisible? Like you’ve just been floating being everyone else’s support, everyone else’s reminder or personal assistant? And you shrink into the background.
As women we were taught to be amenable and accommodating by society – we have to change our hair, speak and act a certain way in corporate settings, make sure our families have everything they need – all before we take care of ourselves.
We deserve to occupy the space we take up – no matter how much that is.
For me, I have to think about these truths:
The pressure to minimize ourselves in places where we make the biggest impact is insane. When we confine ourselves to certain standards, we’re accepting others limitations of what they believe is possible on ourselves, and that’s not right. What would you tell your daughter if someone told her to not be herself, to shrink to a louder voice in the room? We would tell her not to listen and to be her true, authentic self.
We have to be our true selves – that’s all we can be.
Julee Wilson shared on a previous episode to not let herself be dimmed – she is a light and it shows in her work – her episode is here if you want to catch up. Refusing to Be Dimmed with Julee Wilson (Essence Magazine).
Ruth from Mama United shared on the IG post I wrote: “This is so true, his was me all day every day but a year ago after having my son, I knew I needed to find time for myself, I knew I didn’t want to feel guilty for wanting to take care of my needs and what would make me happy. I’ve learned to prioritize by first fitting a time for myself every single day. Even if it’s an hr. That’s my time and it’s not up for debate.”
So how am I working to be more filled with light and prioritizing myself, not allowing myself to feel invisible – by making small changes. The act of showing up as my authentic self in every room I’m in is frustrating – I shouldn’t have to work at it, it’s scary – what if I retreat bac to my old ways, or am called out as a fraud, or challenged? Showing up as myself is also liberating! It feels awesome to know that I’m really me. We don’t have to shrink, we have to build in our true selves into how other treat us.